Mars Makeover!
by The Mysterious Traveller
Summary: Sailor Mars is drawn into a plot of the Dark Queen to drain energy through humans lust when she is blackmailed by a ladies swimwear company into modelling their latest look...


Mars Makeover!  
  
In the very depths of the dark region known as the Negaverse the Dark Queen sat watchfully over her crystal sphere.  
  
The Dark Queen spoke into the sphere to one of her agents on earth in silken honeyed tones.  
  
She made a point of trying to appear just and fair to her new pawns when they first began to serve her so as to encourage them to pledge their loyalty and very lives to her service.  
  
After all that way if they failed her or displeased her then the Dark Queen could simply take their essence and add it to the Negaverse's attempt to resurrect her mentor Queen Mettallia.  
  
"You know now what to do?" The Dark Queen hissed into the sphere.  
  
There was a muffled reply from whoever she was speaking to on earth.  
  
"Then it shall be so. Drain the humans of their vital essences through their raw lust. If you succeed you shall be well rewarded. Now go."  
  
As the orb of crystal dimmed the Dark Queen leaned back in her throne and sneered.  
  
It would be a great reward indeed.  
  
What greater gift could she bestow upon her servants than to make them one with dead Queen Mettallia?  
  
~*~*~  
  
"Catch you guys later!"  
  
Sailor Mar's bade her fellow Sailor Scouts goodbye as they separated from the scene of their latest victory against the Negaverse.  
  
The Yaomo had been successfully banished back to the Negaverse by Sailor Moon and now Sailor Mars was looking forward to a long warm bath back at the temple.  
  
As it would prove however it would be a long time before she got to carry this out.  
  
As she jumped across the rooftops on her way back to the temple Sailor Mar's noticed the high-pitched wail of a siren.  
  
Looking down she saw that a fire had broken out and that a store was ablaze in the street.  
  
There were no other Sailor Scouts at hand and it looked as though the fire-fighters were fighting a losing battle so Mars made her mind up.  
  
The crowd parted with a buzz of excitement as she dropped down from the roof and she was recognized as Sailor Mars.  
  
"Leave it to me citizens!" Mars cried brightly.  
  
She gave a surreptitious look around.  
  
No sign of Sailor Moon!  
  
At last Mars had a chance to make HER name as well known as that airhead Sailor Moon AKA Serena Tsuniko.  
  
Closing her eyes Sailor Mar's drew mentally on the power of the fire of Mars and willed the fire to stop.  
  
A hiss and the blaze was extinguished.  
  
The crowd erupted into cheers and began to crowd around Mars jostling to get near her.  
  
Mars grinned inwardly as she took this chance to milk her performance for all it was worth.  
  
"Hey hey!" it was a guy in orange sun-glasses managed to elbow his way through the crowd.. "I was just wondering if you could sign this?" he thrust out a slip of paper for her perusal.  
  
"Sure. Anything to help out a fan!" Mars was grinning from ear to ear now.  
  
"Thanks. Knew you would. My bud's told me I'd never manage to get Sailor Moon to sign an autograph but…"  
  
"WHAT?" Mars dropped the pen.  
  
"they told me I'd never be able to get your autograph. Thanks for making my dreams come true Sailor Moon….hey where are you going?"  
  
Mars blood was boiling as she elbowed her way through the crowd and set off up the street not bothering to duck into an alley so that she could transform back into Rei.  
  
Her teeth were grinding.  
  
How could that moron have mistaken her for Sailor Moon?  
  
She just couldn't grasp the concept of anything thinking she was that ditz!  
  
"Excuse me. Could I just pray on your time for a little while please?"  
  
Mars stopped and looked up to find herself looking into the eyes of the shadiest pair of women she'd ever laid eyes on.  
  
The tall slim one had a wave of hair that made a fringe over her forehead. (Greasy hair! Ick!) she wore outlandish cloths such as an electric blue waist-coat and Mez was wearing trousers and sported a pony-tail at the back.  
  
The second was pretty much a complete clone of her friend.  
  
What the hell, wondered Mars, did this pair of losers want from her?  
  
"Yeah?" Sailor Mars snapped. "Can I help you?"  
  
"Let us introduce ourselves. My name is Jan…" the first whipped out an ID card which she flashed to mars.  
  
"…and I'm Mez." The second flashed her own card as he fumbled for her tissue to cover a snort.  
  
"What IS this? I don't have time for street-entertainers!" growled Mars.  
  
"We're Not street entertainers!" the ID cards vanished back into their pockets. "We represent the Street-Wise Hip-Hop fashion corporation." Jan explained. "And we think that you need a NEW LOOK!"  
  
Sailor Mars blinked as she let what she had just heard sink in.  
  
Then she erupted with laughter at what she supposed was their clever wit.  
  
"Very funny." She replied. "I'm SAILOR MARS! I don't need a make-over!"  
  
"I'm afraid that our company does not agree with you Miss Mars. Still we have some insurance policy." Grunted Mez as she reached into her pocket and drew out a photograph.  
  
Mars eyes widened as she recognized CHAD chained to a metal-post in a darkened room in some kind of warehouse.  
  
"We saw you hanging around this boy once and we figured he was someone you know." Jan said as Sailor Mars stared spellbound at the photo. "So…"  
  
She got no further.  
  
Mars had had enough.  
  
"Mars fire!" she cried and a ribbon of flame rippled from her finger-tip and surrounded Mez who cowered sweating like a pig.  
  
"You have exactly ten seconds to tell me where you've got Chad!" she stated.  
  
"Or what?"   
  
"Or I turn you into roast ham!"  
  
"Don't tell her Mez!" snapped Jan. "She's bluffing!"  
  
Mars realised that it was true.  
  
She couldn't abuse her planet power to such an extent as harming a normal human…even if she was more a member of a weasel than human.  
  
"Ok." Sailor Mars growled as she dropped the fire-rings (Much to Mez's relief) "I guess we'll play it your way …for now!"  
  
~*~*~  
  
"Suits you my dear…definitely suits you!"  
  
"Okay." Rei muttered under her breath her very tone bearing an underlying flow of poisoned honey. "Let's get on thing straight you two. Me and drastically undersized bikinis don't mix!"  
  
Rei had transformed back from Sailor Mars and now stood in Jan and Mez's office clad in a skimpy red bikini with briefs and red high-heels - Mez had also applied lipstick to Rei's mouth much to her disliking.  
  
"Now Miss Mars this way we help each other! We give you a new look which we sponsor in exchange for your friends continued good health." Jan reprimanded the dark-haired girl as she wagged her finger. "Now - since we've just completed your first photo-shoot we will send your portfolio to the popular ladies swimwear magazine Babewatch."  
  
"NO WAY!!!" Rei screeched as her heart nearly stopped beating at the thought of those pics appearing in the mag that was read by so many of the boys who went to Serena's school - she could just imagine Serena gawping over Melvin's shoulder and squealing, "Wow…that girl looks just like Rei!"  
  
"Oh no? But surely you remember the fine print of the legally-binding contract you so kindly signed? If you recall it said that all photographs taken by a model beneath the age of eighteen are the property of this company…say, I just had an idea!" Mez's hand moved over to the phone that sat on her desk. "Why don't we call your Grandfather and see what HE has to say…"  
  
"Hey NO, don't!!!!" Rei stammered as her hands flew up into the air in a gesture of surrender. "I, I mean umm…it's okay by me."  
  
"Good." Mez smirked as she removed her hand from the telephone-receiver. "Very sensible my dear."  
  
"Smile Mars!" Jan added as Rei scowled darkly as she realised there was no way out of this. "It's just business!"  
  
"Whatever you say…" Rei broke off as she heard a bleep coming from her clothes, which were lying in a crumpled pile behind her.  
  
Luna was trying to contact her…a being had arrived from the Negaverse.  
  
Forgetting about them Rei took off leaving Jan and Mez to think over their success - once the pics of Rei were published in the magazine the next day the energy that would be reaped by the slaking of male-lust would come flowing into the Negaverse…it was only a matter of time before Queen Metallia arose to sweep the entire world into darkness.  
  
~*~*~  
  
When Rei arrived on the scene of the Negaversal beast's arrival she could see that none of the other scouts were on the scene.  
  
Good.  
  
That was one thing at least she comforted herself.  
  
If Rei's grandpa found out he'd KILL her!  
  
The beast she was confronted by was a tall dark specimen with armour-like skin and mantis claws - it's body seemed to be only half corporeal since its form swirled and flickered and the dark-haired girl was willing to bet that this creature was made out of the shadows that filled the Negaverse.  
  
As she walked onto the battlefield Rei struck her pose. "Shadows do not belong in the day which is a place of golden LIGHT! I am Sailor Mars and on behalf of the Moon I will punish you!" pressing her fingers together as the monster turned and slowly began to approach her Rei took a deep breath and prepared to call upon her Sailor Scout powers to keep it at bay until the others got here. "Mars Fire-Encir…" her strong voice died away at the tip of her tongue as the crucial flaw in all of this occurred to her in a flash of dull and sickening clarity - she had to keep Jan and Mez in a good mood by wearing this thing…That couldn't be helped.  
  
But Rei remembered that unless she transformed into Sailor Mars she couldn't use her powers against this thing!  
  
Rei's heart sank as the Negaversal monster advanced slowly on her - as she backed away she realised that unless she could transform, which she COULDN'T do for Chad's sake, she was in deep…  
  
"Yo Rei!"  
  
Rei turned to glance at the guy who had greeted her. "Hi Chad." She snapped and returned to the problem at ha… "CHAD?" Rei spun around her mouth agape as she saw her scruffy would-be boyfriend standing nonchalantly not having noticed the monster yet. "But…I thought you were a prisoner!"  
  
"I was. But those chicks weren't wizards when it came to tying knots so I just strolled right out of there." Chad's eyes glimmered. "Like your new look by the way. VERY Kawaian!"  
  
Rei resisted the temptation to sock him - her dark eyes were shining with glee. Cool! She thought. That means I don't have to wear this anymore! "Hey Chad? Could you go to the temple?" she asked with a coaxing smile.  
  
"Um…sure but why?"  
  
"It's important. Go to the temple and look in every room and see if I'm there will you? I'd be grateful."  
  
"Sure!" Chad couldn't resist those dark eyes and turned and left without once noticing the towering shadow beast that had been advancing all throughout their bizarre conversation.  
  
Grinning Rei spun on her unusually awkward high-heels. "Mars Power Make-up!" she cried and transformed into Sailor Mars complete with the power to wield the element of fire…and HER OWN high-heels.  
  
~*~*~  
  
A short while later…  
  
Chad was only just walking up the steps of the temple when it occurred to him that there was anything odd about Rei's request.  
  
~*~*~  
  
"Keep running you idiot!" Jan spat, very anxious to be out of their office - She and Mez had seen what had happened outside and were not keen on the idea of being around when Sailor Mars came back to repay them for what they'd done.  
  
"Where will we go?" Mez asked desperately.  
  
"To the Negaverse! The Dark Queen said…"  
  
Too late - Sailor Mars dropped in front of the doorway as they opened the door. "Going somewhere? You two weren't leaving town now where you?" she purred as she draped herself against the door frame while Jan and Mez had palpitations.  
  
"Hey don't be so hasty Miss Mars." Stuttered Jan. "Why don't we discuss this like civilized people? We could…rework your long-term contract!"  
  
~*~*~  
  
Later that day the Dark Queen realised that the new life essence ought to have arrived in the Negaverse by now.  
  
Realising that something was not going according to plan she looked over her crystal ball.  
  
The mists of time and space condensed and then faded into Jan and Mex's office.  
  
The Dark Queen stared at what she saw.  
  
Sailor Mars had ripped the bikini into strips and used it to truss Jan and Mez's hands and feet to the legs of their desk.  
  
Her eyes narrowed.  
  
It seemed like there would be two more additions to the reincarnation of Queen Mettallia rather than the mass essence load she'd expected…  
  
~*~*~  
  
The next morning…  
  
"I'm impressed Rei!" enthused Chad later that day. "You were willing to become a soulless product of the fashion-industry just to save…ME?"  
  
"Chad I wasn't just saving you, ya know. I was also trying to make a point." Rei looked up from where she was sweeping the floor of the temple. Much to her relief she was back in her white priestess jacket and red frock.  
  
"And what might that have been?"  
  
"That you can't improve on perfection!"  
  
Hoo-boy… Chad thought.  
  
However all was not so clear and bright for as relieved and triumphant as she felt as she swept up the temple Rei felt sure, POSITIVE that there was something very, VERY important she'd forgotten about but she just couldn't think what it could possibly be - the answer soon became apparent as Serena walked into the temple.   
  
"Rei! You'll never believe it!" the leader of the Sailor Scouts exclaimed as she walked up.   
  
"What?" growled Rei as the sight of Serena brought back to light the events earlier in the previous day.  
  
"Melvin said that there was a girl who looks EXACTLY like you on the front of this month's edition of Babewatch magazine. I'm serious…."  
  
~The End~ 


End file.
